Walking the Dog, Part 14

September 23rd

2.0 miles

We’ve been living in this neighborhood for like 15 years. So we know some people. This morning I saw my sister-in-law zip by in her moon buggy, the Toyo Twins zip by in their suped-up coupe and the mayor’s wife walking her German Sheppard.

I waved to the people that saw me. And I wave and say “good morning” to strangers all the time. But it’s not because I want to hang out and talk. I’m actually mostly trying to avoid people.

The Goose, people watching

The Goose, people watching

It’s funny, I talk about Goose have doggie social anxiety disorder, but I’m probably worse. Unless I’m drinking, I really don’t love doing small talk with people. During these moments, I’m mostly trying to remember the person’s name and/or repress the impulse ask them something inappropriate about their sex lives.

The solutions are obvious:
1) Cross the street whenever you see another human being coming.
2) Start drinking first thing in the morning.
3) Stop being an idiot and go ahead and ask about their sex lives. People love talking about sex!


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