Father Hombre: A Very Short Story

This very short story introduces the Soh twins, Cupcake and Nash. Cupcake is an outlaw biker in the form of a 7-year-old Korean American kid. Father Hombre is her hero.

Long Nguyen in Seven Psychopaths

Long Nguyen in Seven Psychopaths

Father Hombre

A Short Story

 

On a side note, the last shiv that Cupcake made was much more dangerous than the one she was caught with. That little dagger was a carefully crafted replica of a weapon in an old gangster movie she watched with her brother Nash earlier this year.

Cupcake and Nash are twins. They were still six years old at the time. They’re seven now.

The movie is called Father Hombre. [1] In it, the title character carried a large wooden cross with him at all times. As he went about leading his double life as minister to the Lord and drug-dealing pimp, he’d often rely on this holy instrument to deflect bullets and put the beat down on wayward hoes.

Cupcake remembers asking Nash, “Why is that cross so strong? Do you think it’s because of Jesus?”

Nash did not answer.

But of course, at the end of the movie we find out why that cross is so strong.

Father Hombre’s archrival is the Shaolin trained Mother Sabrina of the Shling Shot Shisterhood. A series of complicated double-crosses leads these two sworn enemies into a protracted fight scene where the Ungood Father proceeds to getting his butt handed to him by the Holy Mother Sabrina. Ultimately Sabrina corners Hombre through as series of attacks featuring the 18 Arms of Wushu.

Before executing him, she offers him a moment to say his own last rites because this is of course the Christian thing to do and despite their differences, they are both devout followers of Yeshua. She bows her head as Father Hombre prays. With one eye open, he slowly pulls his wooden cross apart, exposing a long, sharp, steel blade.

Cupcake will never forget how he mournfully recites, “On behalf of a man whose soul is departing,” as he lunges at Sabrina, stabbing her through the heart.

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NOTES

[1] Father Hombre is a 1971 film directed by famed sexploitationist Stanley F. Millgram (not to be confused with the famed torture psychologist of the same name). Millgram’s films typically took advantage of counter-cultural liberalism mixed with bigotry and misogynism. Cupcake and Nash found a poorly censored version of this film airing on a local broadcast. Nash did not take much interest, but Cupcake was drawn to the cool bravado of the title character. She shortly after began signing her work with the initials “FH”. When asked to please write her full legal name, she simply wrote out her moniker as “Father Cupcake H.M. Soh, Hombre”.

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