Anxiety sucks. It wears me out so that I’m tired all the time. Which makes me drink a lot of coffee.
Drinking a lot of coffee sucks too. Because a lot of the natural effects of caffeine look just like anxiety symptoms. Which either makes me more anxious or makes me think I’m more anxious. The difference between these two experiences is inconsequential. Because in the end, I end up being anxious. Which makes me drink a lot of booze.
Which works for a little while. Makes me feel both calmer and happier. But eventually wears me out, so that I’m tired all the time. And, as my doctor says, lowers the bar for future anxiety and panic attacks, making me more susceptible to anxiety.
But, what rules about anxiety is that it makes me uncomfortable and edgy and sometimes a little bit desperate. And that place, if I can get the chemistry part of it right ;), is a helluva great place to write from.